The usual winter post.

Sitting in my quaint little room on the rooftop, with Duku snuggling like a ball(literally) right outside the door, I can once again hear the trains in the distance. This always reminds me that winter is here. I don't feel like winter is here when the kombols come out of the closet, or when I cannot take a walk outside in the evening without a sweater or when no more water bottles are kept in the fridge and Ma stops making cold coffee...but I have to hear the train for the feeling to sink in.

I usually write winter posts, and the ones I have written till now have all been about happy romantic days and evenings spent roaming around the city and generally being in love. This winter is a little different, pretty much on my own as far as the romantic bit is concerned.Not bitter though,just not my usual soppy-love is forever and after-romantic self.

The last one week has been extremely peaceful for me.I make it a point to hug Duku ( my pet dog) every single day. Can't say he enjoys it a lot but hey he doesn't have a choice on this one!He is getting quite old and now every winter we worry that he will fall really sick and not recover. I realized how much I have neglected him for the last year or so, I'm earnestly trying to make up for it now.Also, I have pretty much lost count of the numerous shopping sprees that I've been out on for the last two months.Today I am feeling a sense of calm and ennui, the sort I feel when I have had a good shopping day.I spent every rupee of the entire money that I earned this month(which is quite a good amount) and quite a bit of my mother's.A really nice pair of black and *expensive* (yes, very) shoes, two sarees for upcoming friends' brother's weddings,numerous earrings to go with them, stoles from New Market that will hopefully be worn,a kurti for a wedding reception,a very pretty and cute sweater,gifts for the weddings and also air tickets for a winter vacation that I am really looking forward to.I still have quite a few things left to buy,*sigh*.Hopefully, a raise soon should take care of it :P

This December is also about weddings and receptions I have been invited to.I spent part of a day at Tuna's, looking at the amazing sarees and wedding shopping that they have done. Best wishes to your brother and his wife,Tuna! She's pretty excited about it and all the stories of wedding shopping has earnestly made me wish that I wasn't a single child and preferably had an older sibling.Ah,well :P

On a different note, (a somewhat grave one) I truly believe in the saying that "What goes around, comes around".When I left, he used this one me.I guess it took a disastrous heart break and the loss of quite a few things very close to me to let everything "come around". Now that I have got my dues for all the mistakes done, hurts caused and curses garnered, I guess I can take a deep breath and start fresh.

I woke up today suddenly remembering all the bad luck shit that has been happening to me for the last freaking entire year.But I'm ok, and I want you to know that, if you are reading my blog.And I got rid of ALL the things you gave me, I had a strong urge to burn everything but not sure that is very mature. I'm glad you have found love, actually I'm not.I hope you suffer and I really hope it doesn't work out for you.With all my heart. And you know bad wishes count, don't you?Anyway, I'm no longer angry or hurt.I'm just extremely ok.That sort of feels nice.You can now go burn in hell baby, because I really don't care.

Work, work, work.No sleep.Tests, work and presentation.

I have finally, after two weeks of immense torture managed to wrap up work, tests and presentation and I'm feeling an intense sense of relief. The year is drawing to an end and the vacation that has been planned and forgotten is much welcome now for me.

Also I have discovered that people who sleep less get a lot more work done. Reminds me of the Bengali saying, "je ghumaye tar bhagyo ghumaye" (?) or something of that sort.It is interesting that people who do not suffer from insomnia can have awful sleep patterns as well, induced by mugs of coffee and that evil drink called Diet Coke.

Not only does Diet Coke induce a sense of sleeplessness but apparently it also adds more weight to your body.Isn't that err a little ironic considering it is supposed to be Diet Coke?When I read up on the ill effects of Diet Coke,I felt extremely irritated. Finally I find something which is supposed to be zero calorie yet addictive and researchers have to find something wrong with it. Tsk tsk.

P.S. It is a well known fact that I love cheesecake, and now we all know how much I love Diet Coke. Cheesecake and Diet Coke= <3 I can only live on this, had it been an option :P

long overdue

There is no point avoiding everything that has happened for the past one year. There is no need to stop blogging. I have considered erasing memories. I have considered erasing this blog. For now, I think that is not a good idea.

Note to self:

-stop cribbing,
-start working,
-life screws you ( over and over again)
-but life also has a way of making you smile,
-it's easy to lose hope and think everything has fallen apart,
-it is however difficult to gather up the pieces and move on,
-sometimes it is more liberating to accept a challenge,
-love can never be everything, it is all a misconception.

I need to taste some freedom, do amazing things that people seem to be doing all around me. I need to pull myself out of the rut and look ahead. Its impossible to erase mistakes I've made, but for once let me learn from them. Perhaps all this was due. Time to move on. Time to stop looking back.